^{credit to kfk.png for the picture. whoever they are, i hope they never stop.}
it's been a month, nearly two, since the last microblog.
i hope that you, reader, have been well. at least, i certainly have been well.
my political education has matured, i've had my interactions with police and developed quite a bit. being this active in politics is definitely where i want to be. it feels right. it feels necessary.

i thought about this recently: how have i changed since becoming an organised communist?

well for starters, i call myself a communist. before i would say a democratic socialist, something palatable to most non-left (but not right-wing extremist) political people.

i've had my experiences with the party recently. i think my skills are better implemented in other groups / fields, but i fear the backlash i would get from my party and i don't want to lose the people i've come to know.

i also met someone i enjoy the company of. if i recall correctly, we met for the first time to plan a demonstration against israel. i've forgotten how i ended up there, if my party colleague invited me, dunno. point is, i met them then. they have definitely occupied a thought or two in my mind.^{(see how i went on a side-tangent?)}

my answer to the question? a lot. i've developed in many manners and i understand who i am a lot better. i've started reading again, with more interest. i've become more confident in who i am. i've met new people, friends, that i otherwise would never have. i've come to see an entirely different side of the city i love. i appreciate life and the small things that make it worth living a lot more nowadays.^{it might be the summer sun vitamin talking}

i carry around a notebook and agenda. i've crafted some funky bullshit mp3 player and am seeing if i can make something cool out of that, to lessen my dependence on foreign streaming companies. (sure the artist doesn't get my 0.000013 cent per stream, but they've always gotten most of their money through concerts and merchandise.)

recently i was talking with a friend about "why some people just can't help but hate", and our decision was, despite its rudimentary nature, to go outside. join clubs, parties, whatever. they're new social circles and environments to develop yourself. change in life is almost always positive. (i'm still a horrible overthinker, but that's secondary)

then i also got this thought: how should i use my website? i mean it's a vanity project, for sure, but.. i like this weirdly public but also not-public blogposting i do. i don't think anyone reads these (and definitely not all of them) because they're, imo, not that worthy of reading. despite that, it gives me a chance to sit down and think about everything that's happened since.

my answer: i'll use it for whatever i want. it's my website, my sandbox. one day it's a diary entry, next is a guide on smoke grenades, who knows ;)

reading back on my previous blog, "what to do?", i can feel how i've changed and learned. i've read more theory, understanding my (hopefully) livelihood a lot better and in depth. i'm writing some theory for the party nowadays and i realise how different it is from the shoddy draft my "what to do?" was.

i guess the best way to summarise this is: i'm happy. so i hope that you, reader, are too. see you next time :^)